So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
