I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
