Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need water and some morals
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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