just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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