the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
