i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
