I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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