the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just want to make out with him forever
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
