She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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