Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think your dad took our porno
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
