I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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