Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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