i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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