Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
