The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
