She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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