people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
