I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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