i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
