We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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