Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
