I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
