dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
