I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
the liver wants what the liver wants
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
