Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
