Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
