Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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