is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
sarcasm needs its own font
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
