Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
