ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
