At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
