i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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