Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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