At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
