my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
