I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think I just sharted jello shots
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
