The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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