We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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