Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if only i could text you this smell
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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