there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
