Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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