now i know why i became what i already was.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They took my balls.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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