i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
