And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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