You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
