She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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