You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
