so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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