non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
