Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
