If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That accounts for only three of the penises
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
