Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
